Selfishness. The word has a bad reputation. As it slips off my tongue, I get an image of a small child withholding his favorite toy from a playmate. At first thought, you may also regard selfishness in a negative light. But is it really that bad? Is it possible that selfishness can be an asset, or even a necessity, for personal development success? I believe so.
Throughout our lives, we are often asked to make choices that don’t feel right to us. The expectations come and we are faced with a dilemma. Do I do what is best for me or live up to the expectations of someone else? In fact, I can look back over my life and easily tie my biggest mistakes to my unwillingness to choose myself over others.
Let’s rewind 14 years. I was 19 years old. He was everything most women want—a family man, handsome, respectful, talented, and a great provider. And he desperately wanted to marry me. Wedding plans were in full swing, everyone was excited, and all I wanted to do was disappear.
The words stuck to me like hot glue, “You are so dammed selfish.” How could I refuse to marry Mr. Perfect? How could I embarrass my mother after she had bragged endlessly on the upcoming wedding? How could I let down all of the family members, both his and mine, who were anticipating our union? I was torn–between me and them.
Plagued by opposing forces that called me in different directions, I cried every night until the day I walked down the aisle as a selfless, though unhappy, bride.
Fast forward. After months of bickering, resentment, and anger, I had a wakeup call. I realized that, although I chose to unselfishly make a decision that didn’t feel right to me, absolutely nothing positive had come from that choice. My mind had been centered on not disappointing others, but whose mind was on me?
I further realized that I had been let down by the one person who knew what was best for me. The one person who was fully responsible for standing up for me, had failed to do so. And that person was me. I had chosen to be selfless—to disregard my feelings, desires, and needs on behalf of others. And any subsequent pain was nobody’s fault but my own.
As I walked out of the front door with little more than a blanket and the clothes on my back, I decided that I had foolishly sacrificed my happiness for the last time. I turned a deaf ear to naysayers and disregarded every painful criticism as I said goodbye to my short, miserable marriage. I made a big girl decision—albeit a selfish one—and it was one of the best life choices I have made thus far.
The Selfishness Virtue
I share this story, not to say that we should never do what is best for others, but to say that we should never feel bad about doing what is best for ourselves.
Although people won’t always recognize it, doing what is best for you is often one of the best things that you can do for others. When you’re unhappy, resentful, or angry because you’ve treated yourself unfairly, you are not attracting pleasant life experiences and you are of less benefit to others.
On the other hand, the entire Universe stands to benefit from your positive energy when you’re at your personal best. Do you know what that means? It means a selfish act may be unbelievably unselfish at its core.
So, the next time your best interest contradicts with what is best for someone else, don’t be so quick to disregard yourself. You are every bit as deserving of your love, protection, thoughtfulness, and loyalty as anyone else.
A Selfishness Quote from Abraham Hicks
Many say to you, “Don’t be selfish.” And what they mean is, “Satisfy my selfish intent, not your own. I’d be a lot happier if you were doing the things I need you to do in order for me to be happy”. And so, the best gift that you could give to anyone, would be to be a liver of unconditional love. In other words, you’re loving them, even though they’re not loving you because you’re not doing what they need you to do in order for them to love you.
Do you agree that there is a time for selfishness? Do you have a hard time putting yourself first?
Articles from : http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com
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